FEAR AND LOVING IN LAS VEGASJune 28 Wednesday morning, we we're still reeling from the surreal encounter with various members of my family at the failed "family reunion" and the 115 degree (in the shade) weather in Rocklin, California. It was definitely time for a vaction, Las Vegas here we come!
Our flight didn't leave until 1 which gave us plenty of time to get through the airport security and have one of those giant beers from the airport bar before the flight. San Francisco has the
best airport bars, including a
Gordon Biersch brew pub!
We got through the security without them finding my stash
whew, the pipe and flame can be achieved once we were in Vegas. As usual the giant beer was giant, 2x the size for $2. Then we were on our way!
Strangely USAir wouldn't let anyone out of their seats for the entire 1-hour flight due to "turbulence" which none of the passengers seemed to notice. No beverage service, no bathrooms, USAir sucks balls.
The rest of the trip to our hotel at the Mirage was uneventful and we got into a good room immediatly and then headed to the bar for some serious video poker! At this point we discover that
Cirque Du Soleil has a new show called "LOVE" which tells the story of
The Beatles music and career.
We also hear rumors that various stars are going to be staying in our hotel to see the premier of the new show on Friday, including Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and Yoko Ono!
June 29 Thursday morning we decide to try to get tickets to LOVE for that day. The spasm behind the counter can't believe we want tickets for the night-before the premier show but tells us we can try to get in line for a number to get in another line to buy tickets from people who don't show up!
After a quick breakfast around the pool, under some water misting spray it's back to the video poker bar to wait 'till they start handing out the numbers. Once the time came we headed over to the theatre and got #26 (still on the first page of names on the waiting list!).
Maybe it was all the years of eating LSD and listening to Beatles' albums but Karma was on our side that day and we got KILLER SEATS! For around $100 a pop we got these seats: [attachmentid=858]
Video Clips of the ShowThat evening we went back to the video poker bar and hung out watching all the groupies and losers try to get into JET, the nightclub where all the celebrities were partying.
June 30 Nothing to do Friday but hang out at the video poker bar and wait for the 8:30 show Tournament of Kings at the Excalibur. Unfortunately, by the evening I had endured 3 days of alcohol, 2nd hand smoke and intense heat, which had killed my appetite and my ability to sleep.
This difficulty, combined with the fact that the Excalibur is a run-down peice of garbage that should be steralized, leveled, then blown up, in that order, caused me to feel sick (not to mention that you can't get any water at the Excalibur). The casino has a moving walkway that delivers you through the entrance, which I'm sure was all the rage in the 1950's but it means the entire front is open to the outdoors so they can't keep the inside cool.
The show itself was fun, but children ran rampant in the aisles and the food/drink service was abhorent: "Would you like pepsi or diet pepsi?", JUST GIVE ME SOME FUCKING WATER FOR FUCKS SAKE!
Later that night I had to take a cold shower, crank on the air conditioning and lay down in the hotel room drinking bottles of water while Throbble went to see the new Treasure Island "pirate show", which is now some kind of soft-core, bump and rub show with sirens vs. pirates (they both win in the end).
July 1 Saturday we packed our shit together, went down to the video poker bar and chased off some hooker and her aged client. It was a flawless cab ride to the airport and our plane left on time, arriving in SFO 15 minutes ahead of schedual. We flew Ted "Part of United", which means we got beverage service and we were allowed to use the restrooms despite having at least as much "turbulance" if not more, proving that USAir does indeed suck.
And that's about it, spent around $200 on video poker ($0.25 at a time), someone at the bar next to us won $4000 right before we left the casino to go home and we spotted some famous celebrities. All in all, a 100% successful trip!
-420
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