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« on: April 27, 2005, 03:14:20 PM »
i hope you dont mind me posting one not really a joke, but its along the lines..
Many Sydney folk DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs Play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers 'yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win a prize.
One particular game, however, made Sydney drop to its knees with laughter and is Possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is ED on Fox FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have"
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First name only please".
Contestant: "Brian"
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?
Brian: "Yes".
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married"
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First name only please"
Brian: "Sara"
DJ: "Is Sara at work Brian?"
Brian: "She's gonna kill me"
DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work"
DJ: "OK, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She's gonna kill me"
DJ: "Brian, stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning"
DJ: "Atta boy Brian"
Brian: (laughing sheepishly): "Well...."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes"
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake"
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice"
DJ: "OK. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well...."
DJ: "This sounds good Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh"
Brian: "And the mother in law was in the shower at the time"
DJ: "Atta boy Brian"
Brian: "On the kitchen table"
DJ: "Not that great? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's
work number and call her up. You listen to this"
(3 minutes of commercials follow)
DJ: "OK audience, let's call Sara, shall we?" (touch tones...ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos"
DJ: "Hey is Sara around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she"
DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with Fox FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking to Brian for a couple of hours now"
Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Soooooo, do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sara: "No"
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, OK? Be completely honest"
DJ: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions Sara. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us"
Sara: (laughing) "yes"
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex Sara?"
Sara: "Oh God, Brian...uh, this morning before Brian went to work"
DJ: "What time?"
Sara: "Around 8 this morning"
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe"
DJ: "Hmmm, that's close enough. I'm sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sara: (laughing) "Yes"
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sara: "OH MY GOD BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell them honey"
DJ: "What is bothering you so much Sara?"
Sara: "well....."
DJ: "Come on Sara...where did you have it?"
Sara: "Up the arse..."
After a long pause, the DJ said: "Folks, we need a take a station break"