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Other => Discussion => Topic started by: Razor Blade on September 03, 2007, 09:12:38 PM

Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 03, 2007, 09:12:38 PM
Allright I just have to say it, I can't take it in anymore.

I just returned about a week and half ago from vacation, the problem is I fell in love with a girl there, now this ain't that bad because I go there on vacation twice a year.
The problem is however i'm really, really, REALLY badly in love at first i tought it would go over, that it was just casual.
I quickly discovered this wasn't the case.
Now she is 26 i'm 21(well soon I will be) at first I saw this as a problem, so I was in love but that age difference was bugging me so when I finally decided that age wasn't that much of a problem she wen't back home (well she lives like three hours away from me when i'm on vacation in Bosnia).
I know she feels the same about me but the age difference is preventing her to be with me together.
Now I do have her phone number but I feel that I can't call her or type a message about my feelings and all because it "feels" not right over the phone, I feel like I should tell it in her eyes.
But waiting a whole year isn't really that easy when you're really in love.
Also, she's reducing the contact between us because she knows my feelings(I think, there was flirting from both sides).
Anyhow a week before I headed back here to Belgium I discovered she found a boyfriend he is also there on vacation but he's from USA.
Now I don't know i'm preparing myself on that it could work between them so next year I come she might have someone, but I believe it won't last long because a relationship on distance is really hard especially when you're from USA that distance is really long....

I don't know what to do anymore, I also just graduated so i'm looking for a job atm, so I have lots of free time and I can't stop thinking about her, I feel lost, depressed and I feel it's afecting me when I go to a job interview.......
I just can't take it anymore...
any advice or something? please?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 03, 2007, 09:27:27 PM
You ain't gonna like this advice but here it is anyway:

Girls are fubar.  Don't waste your time over a fling.  It ain't worth it, you'll most likely get hurt in the end.  There will be tons more of these "falling in loves".

Finally if she's got a boyfriend, forget about it.  If you see her next year and she's single and interested and you're single and interested then go for it.  In the meantime try and move onto other things.

PS. Girls are crazy mental cases.  In case I didn't already mention that.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: cuchulann on September 03, 2007, 10:48:33 PM
*There is nothing wrong with a summer fling. Enjoy it for what it was.
*Long distance relationships don't work. This goes for that guy from the U.S. too.
*Under no circumstance should you enter into unrequited love. This only serves to make you write bad poetry and to miss out on plenty of eligible local ladies who are in fact interested in you.

**Best Case Scenario**
If the two of you are really into each other YOU will need to maintain a bare minimum of a bi-weekly contact, and that is for a girl who is honestly into you. I mean phone calls here, in e-mails and private chat or messaging you can't tell if they are kidding, teasing, or flat out lying. I fell to that one and that was with a girl I used to know pretty well. So with regular contact, at best you might be able to get to "Hey I'm going to be near your part of the world later on, want to meet for a drink or something?" or, Summer Fling part 2 "The Mid-Autum Meet-up."

Otherwise, best of luck to you in whatever, but don't try and tear your heart out for her no matter how masochistic you feel.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 04, 2007, 07:02:37 AM
well the problem is I really don't think this is a fling anymore, I mean I had flings before her but they wen't soon over like in week or two, three...

I feel like this for over a month and it's really killing me it feels like every day it's worse and worse....I mean....I don't know....?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Talon on September 04, 2007, 09:11:16 AM
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well the problem is I really don't think this is a fling anymore, I mean I had flings before her but they wen't soon over like in week or two, three...

The only problem is that this hasnt even reached potential fling status.

You both met up, you like her, youre unsure as to her feelings towards you.

Shes met up and was having a "fling" with a guy from the US - so at the moment hes one step ahead of you in that aspect. Now hes going back to the US - probably never likely to return, as he appears to have had his once-in-a-lifetime jaunt outside of the motherland.

All you can really do is keep up casual conversation. Call her at least once a week, and always have something to talk about, or at least be interested and conversational about what she has been doing. Theres nothing worse than a "what you been doing? - not much" conversation.

Dont come on too strong - if shes really distancing you, then it sounds like it could be a no go - although speaking with her would be the best way to judge that.

The whole year thing before meeting is a MASSIVE problem. Long distance relationships just dont work. Even long term relationships that suddenly become long distance are pretty much doomed.

If you are completely hopeless, test the waters to see if shes interested (bi-weekly phonecalls), go and visit if shes interested (you have just graduated so lots of free time), and potentially move out there to work for a few months if it works out (follow your heart! :P)

My advice - stop the empty fantasizing as it only leads to heartache.

p.s. Call her today, or not at all
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 04, 2007, 09:35:34 AM
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(follow your heart! :P)

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...hopeless romantic at work....

 :D
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 04, 2007, 12:46:38 PM
Wait, are you in Bosnia or Belgium? If you are in the Belgium, how are the waffles?

I agree with what has been said so far:

If you feel that way do something about it. Don't just sit around stressing yourself out, see if you can get the relationship to go somewhere.

Fling with some jerk from the U.S.? No problem, that will be over soon enough.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 04, 2007, 01:25:04 PM
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Wait, are you in Bosnia or Belgium? If you are in the Belgium, how are the waffles?

I agree with what has been said so far:

If you feel that way do something about it. Don't just sit around stressing yourself out, see if you can get the relationship to go somewhere.

Fling with some jerk from the U.S.? No problem, that will be over soon enough.

-420
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I'm in belgium now, i'm originated from bosnia I go two times in a year to bosnia during summer and during the last weeks of december when it's newyear.

I don't know i don't like waffles....

I will do smt about it, I will when I go back to bosnia, I don't know if it will be possible to go in December now cuz i just graduated and if I find work it won't be possible because I have to save up (save up "vacation days" not money, money I have i'm still working in the restaurant that I had when I was a student) to take a long holiday in the summer....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 04, 2007, 03:16:01 PM
I agree with most of the advice here as well, except for these two things:

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*Long distance relationships don't work.
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Long distance relationships just dont work.
Now, I agree that long distance relationships that are carried on for too long will eventually fail, if there are not enough visits... and they are completely fucked if there's not enough communication. But I do not agree that long distance relationships are bound to fail just because they are long distance, I think they could last for some time, at least, before ultimately ending in failure. But, the failure itself can be prevented, if the relationship can stay sturdy for long enough for you to do something about the distance.

I say this, because I have had a girlfriend for about a year and a quarter of another, living about 650 miles from me (Believe it or not, exactly 666 miles from my house to where she was living, according to google earth), before we did something about the distance, and now she's living with me and we're engaged to get married come April.

So, I think long distance relationships CAN work, just not forever... you have to do something about the distance before it's too late, but it doesn't have to be immediate.

My advice is to call her, right now. Or don't call at all and drop it, like Talon said.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 04, 2007, 03:44:36 PM
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I agree with most of the advice here as well, except for these two things:

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*Long distance relationships don't work.
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Long distance relationships just dont work.
Now, I agree that long distance relationships that are carried on for too long will eventually fail, if there are not enough visits... and they are completely fucked if there's not enough communication. But I do not agree that long distance relationships are bound to fail just because they are long distance, I think they could last for some time, at least, before ultimately ending in failure. But, the failure itself can be prevented, if the relationship can stay sturdy for long enough for you to do something about the distance.

I say this, because I have had a girlfriend for about a year and a quarter of another, living about 650 miles from me (Believe it or not, exactly 666 miles from my house to where she was living, according to google earth), before we did something about the distance, and now she's living with me and we're engaged to get married come April.

So, I think long distance relationships CAN work, just not forever... you have to do something about the distance before it's too late, but it doesn't have to be immediate.

My advice is to call her, right now. Or don't call at all and drop it, like Talon said.
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Yeah see I had this same idea.

Long distance relationships are hard but they aren't impossible I personally think that long distance relationships are more intresting because you both don't see eachother that much and when you do, you tend to spend the time with eachother more intimitly.
It's not the same when you are together with a girl that's close to you, you then see eachother more times and after a time you get the feeling like "been there done that" while when you are together with someone that's living further and when you see eachother it's more of a feeling that you really missed her and can't wait to spend time with her.
Offcourse you can't make this last forever and you do have to do something before it's too late so yeah, but I was planning this.

Allright I didn't call her but I did send her a message ( right after reading Talon's reply and she said that she's happy i didn't forget her :)), I can't call her just to the fact that's really expensive Bosnia is a country that's recovering from a war it's had, while Bosnia is fairly cheap when you are on vacation there, the calls to there are really expensive.
But in due time i'm going to make calls offcourse but for now we are just going to hear from eachother via sms.

And I didn't see anyone say here about the age? I mean for me it's no problem for the age i'm 21 she's 26.
I made peace with it, but I get the feeling that for her that is the problem.
What do you guys think about the age? and any suggestions how I should tell her that it isn't a problem?

BTW congratulations on the engagment Hell!
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 04, 2007, 03:57:31 PM
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Yeah see I had this same idea.

Long distance relationships are hard but they aren't impossible I personally think that long distance relationships are more intresting because you both don't see eachother that much and when you do, you tend to spend the time with eachother more intimitly.
It's not the same when you are together with a girl that's close to you, you then see eachother more times and after a time you get the feeling like "been there done that" while when you are together with someone that's living further and when you see eachother it's more of a feeling that you really missed her and can't wait to spend time with her.
Offcourse you can't make this last forever and you do have to do something before it's too late so yeah, but I was planning this.

Allright I didn't call her but I did send her a message ( right after reading Talon's reply and she said that she's happy i didn't forget her :)), I can't call her just to the fact that's really expensive Bosnia is a country that's recovering from a war it's had, while Bosnia is fairly cheap when you are on vacation there, the calls to there are really expensive.
But in due time i'm going to make calls offcourse but for now we are just going to hear from eachother via sms.

And I didn't see anyone say here about the age? I mean for me it's no problem for the age i'm 21 she's 26.
I made peace with it, but I get the feeling that for her that is the problem.
What do you guys think about the age? and any suggestions how I should tell her that it isn't a problem?

BTW congratulations on the engagment Hell!
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I quite agree, that was how it was for my fiancé and I, I only ever got to visit her ONE time throughout that year and a quarter, the next time I saw her was when I was picking her up.

Well, that's fine, it was a long time before my fiancé and I ever called eachother, months after we first got into a relationship. We talked every day on forums, IM, and at night on the phone, for as long as 12 hours sometimes.

I don't see the age as a problem at all. You're both adults and 5 years isn't that big of a difference when you're older, and the older you get, the less it matters. That's how I see it. Now, if you were 17 and she was 24 or something, that would be a problem. lol. My girlfriend was 16 when I met her, and I was 18, I had to wait until she was 18 to do much... visits were almost impossible with her parents being the way they are, and lack of money. But she's 18 now and I'm 19, she's a year and a half younger than me. But the age was a problem for us, because of laws, you at least, don't have that problem.

Don't worry about telling her you don't feel that age is an issue, first worry about finding out her feelings towards you, and if they are the feelings you hope for, then start something, if it's working out good, then talk to her about that. If she really likes you, age may be something she still won't like, but it won't get in the way.

Thanks. :D
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mercy on September 04, 2007, 04:00:50 PM
Age is nothing bud. :P I am about to be 23 and a few months ago, exclusively dated a woman 10 years older and after that lol. Saturday night I went out on a date with a woman who was about 14 years older lol. Older women rock. :P
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 04, 2007, 04:20:05 PM
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Age is nothing bud. :P I am about to be 23 and a few months ago, exclusively dated a woman 10 years older and after that lol. Saturday night I went out on a date with a woman who was about 14 years older lol. Older women rock. :P
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You know I experienced that too i've been with girls that were a year or two younger then me and I felt like we weren't on the same level.

Now on the vacation I dated girls that were a bit older then me and they really rocked much more fun and this time I felt like we were on the same "level" that's why I decided age shouldn't be a problem.

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Don't worry about telling her you don't feel that age is an issue, first worry about finding out her feelings towards you, and if they are the feelings you hope for, then start something, if it's working out good, then talk to her about that. If she really likes you, age may be something she still won't like, but it won't get in the way.

Well yeah offcourse, but I will have to wait for that I mean I just can't do it over the phone i get the feeling that I have to do it when I see her because it's kinda personal and over the phone i don't know it just doesn't feel right...
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 04, 2007, 05:40:44 PM
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because I have had a girlfriend for about a year and a quarter of another
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So, you have one whole girlfriend and a quarter of another girlfriend?

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What do you guys think about the age?
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If you want to know my opinion about the difference in age of people in love I suggest you rent Harold and Maude (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067185/).

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 04, 2007, 09:40:03 PM
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So, you have one whole girlfriend and a quarter of another girlfriend?
If you want to know my opinion about the difference in age of people in love I suggest you rent Harold and Maude (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067185/).

-420
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because I have had a girlfriend for about a year and a quarter of another
of another year... smartass. :rolleyes:

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Well yeah offcourse, but I will have to wait for that I mean I just can't do it over the phone i get the feeling that I have to do it when I see her because it's kinda personal and over the phone i don't know it just doesn't feel right...
Depends on you, man. My fiancé told me over instant messenger, but that makes more sense since I met her on a forum. =)
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Throbblefoot on September 04, 2007, 10:30:22 PM
As the only actual female who ever posts here any more, I feel bound to reply:
 - Age differences don't have to be an issue, especially as you get older.
 - Long-distance relationships are doomed in the long run.
 - If she really truly dated you very recently, and is already dating another guy, she might (and please don't take this badly) be a skank.
 
And some more advice you aren't going to like: If you really really think you're in love with this woman, maybe you need to read Romeo and Juliet. How long were you even in the same city? How many hours did you spend with her? I mean, you only met her a month ago, how can you be sure it's truly love and not an infatuation?

Take your time, keep in contact with her (if she's receptive - no cyber-stalking!), and see how it goes.

-Throbblefoot
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 05, 2007, 09:27:51 AM
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As the only actual female who ever posts here any more, I feel bound to reply:
 - Age differences don't have to be an issue, especially as you get older.
 - Long-distance relationships are doomed in the long run.
 - If she really truly dated you very recently, and is already dating another guy, she might (and please don't take this badly) be a skank.
 
And some more advice you aren't going to like: If you really really think you're in love with this woman, maybe you need to read Romeo and Juliet. How long were you even in the same city? How many hours did you spend with her? I mean, you only met her a month ago, how can you be sure it's truly love and not an infatuation?

Take your time, keep in contact with her (if she's receptive - no cyber-stalking!), and see how it goes.

-Throbblefoot
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Nope we didn't date, because when I met her I was struggling with the age difference I wasn't sure about it by the time I decided it shouldn't be a issue she was allready gone (she lives like 3 hours away from me in Bosnia) so she isn't a skank lol.

We spended enough time for me to know that I like her and that we have the same intrests, I mean when I first met and saw her i tought "nope not my type" but as I got to know her, talked to her, saw what she likes/dislikes etc and it's that what I fell in love with as I saw how she was and all that's when....and i'm sure it's not a fling or infatuation because I never felt this way, i'm feeling sad that she's 1700km away from me, i'm a bit mad because i didn't react sooner of that stupid age difference....
and it's been over a month ago and I still feel the same way as before....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 05, 2007, 06:40:52 PM
So... how many miles is that? LOL

Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 05, 2007, 07:02:28 PM
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So... how many miles is that? LOL
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according to this site (http://www.derbyshireguide.co.uk/miles-into-kilometres.htm)
1700Km is 1056.33 miles....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 05, 2007, 07:28:21 PM
Ah, but that's only a simple jog...
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Throbblefoot on September 05, 2007, 09:43:28 PM
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so she isn't a skank lol.
Have fun proving all the things she isn't.
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and it's been over a month ago and I still feel the same way as before....
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Oh, I see: you really *do* need to read Romeo and Juliet. Here's a free online version:
Romeo and Juliet thought it was love for "over a month" too.... (http://www.bartleby.com/70/index38.html)

If you can tell me in 5 years that you still feel the same way, I might concede it's love.

-Throbblefoot

PS- You didn't say how much time you spent together.  Maybe we should start a betting pool. I'm going with 7 hours over 5 days....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 05, 2007, 10:07:39 PM
That play kicks ass, I don't care who says what!

Taming of the Shrew was a good one too, aye aye! I remember once where I read the part of Petruchio (forgot how it was spelled, but that's probably close), and I did the voice acting and all... it was sweet.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 06, 2007, 12:40:08 PM
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Have fun proving all the things she isn't.
 Oh, I see: you really *do* need to read Romeo and Juliet. Here's a free online version:
Romeo and Juliet thought it was love for "over a month" too.... (http://www.bartleby.com/70/index38.html)

If you can tell me in 5 years that you still feel the same way, I might concede it's love.

-Throbblefoot

PS- You didn't say how much time you spent together.  Maybe we should start a betting pool. I'm going with 7 hours over 5 days....
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hmm, first of all why are you so sceptical about everything I say.

The time we spended together, was about 2-3 hours every day, one whole day at a pool, and one entire night at a party (that night was just talking, dancing nothing more lol) and that all spreaded over 5 days.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 06, 2007, 03:15:28 PM
My original advice still stands.  

You never had a romantic relationship with her while you were there.  At least this is what I'm understanding from these posts.  It will be rather difficult to start one from 1500km away.

Either you remain on a casual terms with her until you see her the next time.  Or you bust out all the stops telling her how she's a goddess and that you'd like to make sweet love her...You either get what you want or nothing at all.  At least there won't be any ambiguity.  You may not want to be as blunt as quoting me would be.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Throbblefoot on September 06, 2007, 09:49:36 PM
All I meant is that there's no telling what another person isn't.

I'm not skeptical about what you say, Razor. I'm skeptical about how many things seem just like love for the first year or five. Frankly, if you didn't date her, you should just leave her alone til you see her again on vacation, and hope for the best.

Believe that my advice is sincere - Lord knows I wouldn't agree with Mo on principal.

-Throbblefoot
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 06, 2007, 10:24:57 PM
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- Lord knows I wouldn't agree with Mo on principal.

-Throbblefoot
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Ha!

 :rolleyes:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 06, 2007, 10:42:26 PM
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Believe that my advice is sincere - Lord knows I wouldn't agree with Mo on principal.
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Girls are fubar? :lol:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 06, 2007, 10:47:39 PM
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Girls are fubar? :lol:
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Certainly they are :yes:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 07, 2007, 08:16:32 AM
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All I meant is that there's no telling what another person isn't.

I'm not skeptical about what you say, Razor. I'm skeptical about how many things seem just like love for the first year or five. Frankly, if you didn't date her, you should just leave her alone til you see her again on vacation, and hope for the best.

Believe that my advice is sincere - Lord knows I wouldn't agree with Mo on principal.

-Throbblefoot
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Thanks for the advice Throbble I know what you mean now.

BTW what's fubar?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 07, 2007, 12:12:04 PM
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Thanks for the advice Throbble I know what you mean now.

BTW what's fubar?
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fucked up beyond all recognition
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 07, 2007, 01:21:54 PM
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BTW what's fubar?
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Oh I see, you only know acronyms that came after the internet. You know what "BTW" is but not "FUBAR"?!

Before the internet we had a little thing called the military, they liked to make acronyms out of everything.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mercy on September 07, 2007, 04:46:52 PM
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fucked up beyond all recognition
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Exactamundo! I concur with Mo on all points.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 07, 2007, 04:53:30 PM
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Exactamundo! I concur with Mo on all points.
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How can you not?  :D
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mercy on September 07, 2007, 05:22:29 PM
I guess that is true! :D
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 07, 2007, 05:23:21 PM
What do you have against girls Mo?? i mean seriously the way I see it you really but REALLY don't like them....?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 07, 2007, 06:40:58 PM
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What do you have against girls Mo?? i mean seriously the way I see it you really but REALLY don't like them....?
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What the hell did you just say!? :huh:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 07, 2007, 08:33:08 PM
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What the hell did you just say!?


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Girls are crazy mental cases.  In case I didn't already mention that.
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Girls are fubar? :lol:
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Certainly they are :yes:
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lol....?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 07, 2007, 09:27:49 PM
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What do you have against girls Mo?? i mean seriously the way I see it you really but REALLY don't like them....?
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I love girls.  Guess you're too young to appreciate their utter madness.  It's not their fault.  They are bound by biology to be emotional wrecks.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 07, 2007, 10:27:43 PM
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lol....?
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I was talking to you.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mercy on September 08, 2007, 03:32:36 AM
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I love girls.  Guess you're too young to appreciate their utter madness.  It's not their fault.  They are bound by biology to be emotional wrecks.
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Some are actually quite sensible, but most...-shakes head- nope.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Throbblefoot on September 08, 2007, 02:09:39 PM
If y'all were trying to date guys, you'd say guys were insane, fubar, etc. It's not that girls are crazy, it's that people in general are crazy. And a person's insanity becomes a lot more obvious when you're involved with them intimately.

And for what it's worth, guys are complete knuckleheads.

-Throbblefoot
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mercy on September 08, 2007, 02:27:05 PM
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If y'all were trying to date guys, you'd say guys were insane, fubar, etc. It's not that girls are crazy, it's that people in general are crazy. And a person's insanity becomes a lot more obvious when you're involved with them intimately.

And for what it's worth, guys are complete knuckleheads.

-Throbblefoot
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I agree with that as well. I know I am. lol.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 08, 2007, 06:43:43 PM
Quote
If y'all were trying to date guys, you'd say guys were insane, fubar, etc. It's not that girls are crazy, it's that people in general are crazy. And a person's insanity becomes a lot more obvious when you're involved with them intimately.

And for what it's worth, guys are complete knuckleheads.

-Throbblefoot
[snapback]37380[/snapback]
Alot of people think or have thought that I am insane... my fiance is one of the few who thinks there's nothing weird about me at all. :lol:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 08, 2007, 11:45:42 PM
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Alot of people think or have thought that I am insane...
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Pfft, in my family you aren't considered insane until you get written proof from a professional psychiatrist. Come to think of it, a majority of my family has never bothered to see one. Hmm.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mercy on September 09, 2007, 12:41:57 AM
lol 420.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 09, 2007, 03:02:33 AM
Quote
If y'all were trying to date guys, you'd say guys were insane, fubar, etc. It's not that girls are crazy, it's that people in general are crazy. And a person's insanity becomes a lot more obvious when you're involved with them intimately.

And for what it's worth, guys are complete knuckleheads.

-Throbblefoot
[snapback]37380[/snapback]

Guys are way more rational than girls.  Most girls even readily admit this.  C'mon Throbble admit it!
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Throbblefoot on September 09, 2007, 04:10:43 AM
Quote
Guys are way more rational than girls.  Most girls even readily admit this.
Can you site any statistics? Do you have any actual evidence? Or is it true-confession style "My Girlfriend was a Teenage Werewolf"?

-Throbblefoot
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 09, 2007, 09:38:10 AM
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Can you site any statistics? Do you have any actual evidence? Or is it true-confession style "My Girlfriend was a Teenage Werewolf"?

-Throbblefoot
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The battle of the sexes is certainly a non-scientific study.  Sorry I don't have any case studies to site.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 09, 2007, 10:05:06 AM
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Pfft, in my family you aren't considered insane until you get written proof from a professional psychiatrist. Come to think of it, a majority of my family has never bothered to see one. Hmm.

-420
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But I'm sure you have, correct?  :wacko:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 09, 2007, 01:11:39 PM
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But I'm sure you have, correct?
[snapback]37392[/snapback]
Hell no! I'm not giving them the chance to drag me off to some padded cell with my hands strapped behind my back! I've been to plenty of "psychologists" (the ones that can't prescribe drugs) but that stopped after the last one decided that my mom was the one that needed counseling, not me.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 09, 2007, 06:42:52 PM
Quote
Pfft, in my family you aren't considered insane until you get written proof from a professional psychiatrist. Come to think of it, a majority of my family has never bothered to see one. Hmm.

-420
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Well, I am not insane anyway. :lol:

Quote
Can you site any statistics? Do you have any actual evidence? Or is it true-confession style "My Girlfriend was a Teenage Werewolf"?
I believe he is basing his opinion off of personal experience and quite possibly the experiences of others and/or their opinions.

To be honest, most teenage girls I've met or been around up here are just as he explains, even alot of younger ones in their early 20's. Emotional wrecks... and then the "I am happy-go-lucky... I'm confused as shit but I know what I'm talking about... shit I have no idea what I'm talking about... NO I AM RIGHT YOU ARE WRONG! [pissy attitude here].... [suddenly happy again]...[sad]....[cocky]...[angry]...[cocky]...[happy]...[cocky]..." thing they got going.

My friend Chris (he's almost 50 now) claims that "all women are bi-polar." lol.

Now, I don't think all women are like this... especially as age cometh... but goddamn...
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Meclar on September 12, 2007, 10:39:10 PM
I'd like to comment after all this but I live with my ex-girlfriend.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Meclar on September 13, 2007, 06:17:54 PM
I got home from work today and this letter from my ex-girlfriend was on my desk:

It has come down to this point.  Dealing with your completely solitude personality is intolerable.  I am tired of your lack of emotion or energy and your indulgence.  Your recent attitude and personality make me sick.  We can not be living together anymore.
Either I leave or you leave and we still hold up to our half of the rent each month.  Pretty much I will take you up on your offer you mentioned a while ago; You move out and and still pay your half.  Who ever stays can keep up with the other bills.
This situation is pathetic and I hope you can see it.  I have given multiple attempts to a friendly conversation with you and only once in a blue moon do I get a decent response.  As far as I am concerned you can immerse yourself within your silence somewhere else.
You are unappreciative of what you have in life. I can not live with someone of that nature anymore.
I miss the old you I used to have.  Whatever happened in your mind to disappear as you did, I hope you figure it out but I can not be near you anymore.  It's not fair.
Our connection needs to be severed, however which way either you or I move, you make the choice.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 13, 2007, 08:32:27 PM
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Pretty much I will take you up on your offer you mentioned a while ago; You move out and and still pay your half.
[snapback]37481[/snapback]
Who's name is on the lease?

Seriously, if connections are to be severed there should be no financial obligations from either of you. If she can't afford the place by herself she needs to find a place within her budget.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Throbblefoot on September 13, 2007, 09:03:49 PM
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Either I leave or you leave and we still hold up to our half of the rent each month.
As a feminist and as a women who works her ass off, I can only offer this advice: Kick that bitch out. Don't take her money, kick her ass out, and if it means you have to move, too, do it.

She's unreasonable *and* can't use an adjective to save her life. "Solitude personality" indeed....

-Throbblefoot
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Meclar on September 13, 2007, 11:24:04 PM
I have an obligation to the landlord to uphold so I will finish out  the lease.  I will stand by my original offer to her only to keep things as civil as possible and again to make best on my obligation to the landlord. What ever she chooses to do is a reflection on her character.  If I hadn't quit my job (with Frito-Lay) and wasn't planning a  six month hiking trip I'd be able to afford this 3 bedroom apartment no problem.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 14, 2007, 12:05:09 AM
Quote
I have an obligation to the landlord to uphold so I will finish out  the lease.  I will stand by my original offer to her only to keep things as civil as possible and again to make best on my obligation to the landlord. What ever she chooses to do is a reflection on her character.  If I hadn't quit my job (with Frito-Lay) and wasn't planning a  six month hiking trip I'd be able to afford this 3 bedroom apartment no problem.
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Fulfill your legal obligation and then cut it all loose.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 14, 2007, 02:45:24 AM
With one of those fancy-lookin,' sharp-ass, mother-fuckin' daggers.

Someone say something about adderectives? Addictives? Who's an addict? Oh.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 16, 2007, 05:16:57 PM
I'm starting to have mood swings now, one day i'm happy and all dunno why just because I found a good job and that i'm enjoying it and all, the next day however I'm feeling down, depressed, sad that i'm not with her and all I mean seriously weird shit...?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 16, 2007, 07:02:35 PM
Quote
I'm starting to have mood swings now, one day i'm happy and all dunno why just because I found a good job and that i'm enjoying it and all, the next day however I'm feeling down, depressed, sad that i'm not with her and all I mean seriously weird shit...?
[snapback]37512[/snapback]
Ah, good, then you're still sane.

Anywho... it's starting to sound more like obsession than 'love.'
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 17, 2007, 06:32:02 AM
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Anywho... it's starting to sound more like obsession than 'love.'
[snapback]37514[/snapback]

Now that you say it.....it does kinda....ain't that bad....?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 17, 2007, 09:44:38 AM
She's a waste of time.  Find someone who lives in your country.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 17, 2007, 04:55:29 PM
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She's a waste of time.  Find someone who lives in your country.
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Seconded.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 17, 2007, 08:15:51 PM
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She's a waste of time.  Find someone who lives in your country.
[snapback]37520[/snapback]

Believe me the tought has crossed my mind alot, but the problem is I don't like any girl I know, or that I am friends with, hell even my old exes I can't see anymore why I liked them or why I was together with them....

Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 18, 2007, 11:34:09 AM
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Believe me the tought has crossed my mind alot, but the problem is I don't like any girl I know, or that I am friends with, hell even my old exes I can't see anymore why I liked them or why I was together with them....
[snapback]37526[/snapback]

Then focus on school or work.  Go out meet people.  Try online dating even.  You'll find someone else quite fast.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 18, 2007, 02:50:24 PM
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Then focus on school or work.  Go out meet people.  Try online dating even.  You'll find someone else quite fast.
[snapback]37532[/snapback]
Yeah. And just like alot of things, it pops up the second you walk away. What I mean by that is, once you think "Ah fuckit, fuck love, I don't need/want anyone, I've got better things to worry about." Someone pops up that you fall in love with. And Mo is right, it happens pretty fast. The only times I've noticed it doesn't is when one chooses to ignore what's right in front of them.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on September 18, 2007, 05:03:29 PM
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Then focus on school or work.  Go out meet people.  Try online dating even.  You'll find someone else quite fast.
[snapback]37532[/snapback]

I just found work and when i work I don't think about her...well not the whole time lol, dunno online dating never tried it heh, might give it a go...
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Talon on September 19, 2007, 05:35:55 AM
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Either I leave or you leave and we still hold up to our half of the rent each month.  Pretty much I will take you up on your offer you mentioned a while ago; You move out and and still pay your half.  Who ever stays can keep up with the other bills.
[snapback]37481[/snapback]

If shes forcing the situation (as it appears), then she has to leave.

There is no way in the world that you should be expected to pay 1/2 the rent for a property you have been told you are no longer welcome in (and its your name on the lease!!!).

If shes dull (or desperate) enough to suggest that she will continue to pay the rent on a new place in addition to continue to pay her half for your place then let her at it - but you stay where you are.

Plus, if she refuses to pay when she leaves, you could always go on judge judy and let us all have a good laugh :)
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on September 19, 2007, 09:04:40 AM
Quote
If shes forcing the situation (as it appears), then she has to leave.

There is no way in the world that you should be expected to pay 1/2 the rent for a property you have been told you are no longer welcome in (and its your name on the lease!!!).

If shes dull (or desperate) enough to suggest that she will continue to pay the rent on a new place in addition to continue to pay her half for your place then let her at it - but you stay where you are.

Plus, if she refuses to pay when she leaves, you could always go on judge judy and let us all have a good laugh :)
[snapback]37550[/snapback]

Speaking of which, get her agreement down on paper!

For added bonus have a witness sign as well.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 19, 2007, 08:37:39 PM
Quote
If shes forcing the situation (as it appears), then she has to leave.

There is no way in the world that you should be expected to pay 1/2 the rent for a property you have been told you are no longer welcome in (and its your name on the lease!!!).

If shes dull (or desperate) enough to suggest that she will continue to pay the rent on a new place in addition to continue to pay her half for your place then let her at it - but you stay where you are.

Plus, if she refuses to pay when she leaves, you could always go on judge judy and let us all have a good laugh :)
[snapback]37550[/snapback]
I know you watch that shit.

I just seen an episode on that not long ago. Same shit, different story. :lol:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Meclar on September 19, 2007, 11:09:11 PM
That would be escalating the situation and creating mistrust which I'm trying to avoid.  It was my proposition to her to move into the apartment and my decision to end the relationship.  To make this easier I intend to uphold my financial obligation.
She is an emotional person who chooses to act before thinking as a result the tension between us is worse due to the letter that she now regrets giving me.
I'm living in my dad's basement which I eventually was going to have to do anyway just 6 months sooner.  She has found a roommate that is going to pay some of the rent.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 20, 2007, 12:37:04 AM
Quote
That would be escalating the situation and creating mistrust which I'm trying to avoid.  It was my proposition to her to move into the apartment and my decision to end the relationship.  To make this easier I intend to uphold my financial obligation.
She is an emotional person who chooses to act before thinking as a result the tension between us is worse due to the letter that she now regrets giving me.
I'm living in my dad's basement which I eventually was going to have to do anyway just 6 months sooner.  She has found a roommate that is going to pay some of the rent.
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Seriously dude, you are being ripped off. Don't let "emotional" people walk all over you. Their parents let them get whatever they wanted when thy threw a tantrum and now, as adults, they are just emotional blackmailers.

For a great example check out that stupid woman who got dragged out of the senate after General Petraeus spoke. Look how old you can be and still be a little brat.


[attachmentid=1298]

Full Article (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070910/pl_afp/usiraqpolitics_070910221935)

-420

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Meclar on September 22, 2007, 03:02:49 AM
Nah just money I'm giving up and I'm well aware of what's going on.  I have people behind me too.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 22, 2007, 07:03:20 PM
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Nah just money I'm giving up and I'm well aware of what's going on.  I have people behind me too.
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Are you in a gang or is this some sort of 'anal' confession? :lol:

Sick jokes aside, what do you mean by 'what's going on?'
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: 420 on September 23, 2007, 09:33:14 PM
Quote
Sick jokes aside, what do you mean by 'what's going on?'
[snapback]37611[/snapback]
Probably referring to the "emotional blackmailer" comment.

-420
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on September 24, 2007, 01:24:39 PM
Perhaps. Or confidential details he plainly hasn't mentioned. Understandable.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Xen on October 23, 2007, 04:07:21 AM
Advice is useless, One method will work for some and not others. Last part of Talon's post earlyer "Follow your heart".

Don't be afraid to take risks, life is pain. But pain isn't a bad thing it is what makes us grow and learn. I don't believe in simply hooking up with woman for a "fling" but if that is your poison, do it. But try to see the person and tell your heart to back the fuck off untill you can see the whole picture. Love is blinding if you let it be.

It is easy to fall for a total moron if you let yourself, Don't settle for anything but perfection. And I'm not talking about being a shallow idiot I speak of compatibility. Some say you shouldn't be friends with a girl before actualy getting with them, personaly I think that is bullshit. If you are both strong as friends you will still have that strength in a relationship.

People need to stop seeing relationships as some alien thing, the two of you are friends, very close friends. And with this friend you can do all the things you couldn't with your other friends. Like...snuggle... or spoon.. lol.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on October 23, 2007, 06:41:39 PM
Or jump out of airplanes with sabotaged parachutes.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Xen on October 24, 2007, 04:58:44 AM
You sir are an idiot.


I like it.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on October 24, 2007, 06:49:42 PM
Quote
You sir are an idiot.
I like it.
[snapback]38194[/snapback]
That's cause you're an idiot too. :lol:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on November 04, 2007, 04:13:33 PM
oke update lol

So I finally made a choice and here it is, I decided that I will stop going after the girl i'm in love with even tough I still feel something for her and all I just don't know I get the feeling that she isn't much into me anyway we both decided to stay in the "friends zone"

I don't know why or what but I guess going out last night on the party made me reallize there are tons of girls out there, and some of them are really intrested in me lol (who could resist me anyway :D)
Apparantly when I was in love i tought "there's no one else then her" but after tonight dunno all kinda changed.

I decided to find a nice girl here that's close to me and start a serious thing.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on November 04, 2007, 05:31:40 PM
w00t  :friends:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on November 04, 2007, 06:40:39 PM
Quote
Apparantly when I was in love i tought "there's no one else then her" but after tonight dunno all kinda changed.

I decided to find a nice girl here that's close to me and start a serious thing.
[snapback]38354[/snapback]
You sound like a typical teenager when you say that. You're 20 somethin' though, right? :D

Start a serious thing? You'd be better off starting casual, and then both of you deciding to move to serious if casual is working out.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on November 05, 2007, 12:25:33 PM
Quote
You sound like a typical teenager when you say that. You're 20 somethin' though, right? :D

Start a serious thing? You'd be better off starting casual, and then both of you deciding to move to serious if casual is working out.
[snapback]38360[/snapback]

lol why and yes i'm 20 i'll be 21 13th of November.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on November 05, 2007, 12:46:48 PM
Then grow up, bitch! =P
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on November 05, 2007, 03:53:57 PM
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Then grow up, bitch! =P
[snapback]38378[/snapback]

hey, i'm growing i can't speed time, besides me wanting a serious relationship at this "young" age doesn't that show a bit growing up?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on November 05, 2007, 10:45:23 PM
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hey, i'm growing i can't speed time, besides me wanting a serious relationship at this "young" age doesn't that show a bit growing up?
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I wanted a serious relationship at 14. :lol:

Time doesn't cause you to grow. You don't need time to grow, you simply grow in time. But the phrase I used "grow up" is more commonly treated as "act your age," respectively.

I was just giving you shit anyway.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on November 06, 2007, 12:24:46 PM
Quote
I wanted a serious relationship at 14. :lol:

Time doesn't cause you to grow. You don't need time to grow, you simply grow in time. But the phrase I used "grow up" is more commonly treated as "act your age," respectively.

I was just giving you shit anyway.
[snapback]38395[/snapback]

stop giving me shit.... :D

I don't wan't that shit....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on January 04, 2008, 05:57:55 PM
So I tought of a little update......

So like I finally started to work half September (graduated in June) and was a bit hyped at the idea to start working finally earning money and shit.

Offcourse at the beginning I was still thinking alot at the girl that I fell in love with, but after going out with my friends, meeting other people or just having a blast with my friends in combination with my work offcourse and the fact that I made promotion in about a month made me gradually and slowly forgetting about her, the contact between us faded as well and in the end faded out.

For me i felt like I was over her, I didn't think about her, I didn't feel shit etc I tought cool i'm over her........
So two weeks ago my parents took vacation and went to Bosnia for the holidays I stayed here in Belgium I couldn't take leave cuz I started working and had no right for taking leave now.

It was sunday they 30th of December, me and a friend where chilling here at my house waiting for our other friend to stop working so we could plan new years eve and the amount of alcohol to buy, all of a sudden I get the a message on my phone, i picked up the phone thinking it was my friend to say "hey i finshed work and am on my way" When I opened the messages box i kinda frooze when I saw the name of the messenger, it was her of all the people it was her all things were rushing trough my head, we hadn't hear from each other for like two months or more i mean WTF?
Anyway she asked what i was doing and apparantly she and my niece were with my parents etc blabla the usual stuff, anyway I choose not to react, five minutes later my phone rings, I see who calls suprise it's the telephone of my parents in Bosnia I pick up so I talk to my parents, my niece and eventually her, and when I talked it was then after all those months, after hearing her voice again it fucking hit me again, it unbelievable fucking hit me again, I realised how much I missed her omg I just couldn't believe it all fucking over again.
But I finally for the first time ever I heard finally a doubt in her voice, finally I knew she wasn't sure.
So we talked a bit and she asked a little about my personal life etc....

It's Monday evening 31st of December my and my friends were at mine house 3 bottles of strong alcohol, beer, stuff to eat and a good amount of loud music with speakers that make the whole block shake with each bass effect hehehehe
Again a text message this time I was prepared I knew who it was she again asking what I was doing, I wrote back what I was doing with the question what she was doing, She answered back that she and her best friend (my niece) were with my parents celebrating newyear together, I expected something like that but it was the last sentence that made it intrested, in the last sentence she wrote back "The only person that should be here is you, to make it perfect"
Anyway this time I knew it she was thinking of getting together with me but still the doubt, anyway a hour after midnight me and friends partyng wildly strangely no one didn't call the police the amount of noise was lol outrageous lol but wtv good neigbours lol.
my phone rings I knew it were my parents to wish me a happy newyear and it was after them my niece and lastly she.
She wished me a happy new year, and now we talked moore again asking about my personal life I now knew she was doubting she herself didn't knew what she wanted I was about to say "So what know, you wan't to give it a chance" and all that shit but no I wanted to think about it to think very good and hard about all think it over.

So two days later my parents get back and we talked how their vacation was and shit not much and shit but apparantly she (the girl I was in love with) told my mother if she just gave birth moore sooner to me so in other words I was older it would work lol but still now she was doubting........not sure what to do.....

So here I am now again thinking about her, and honestly I don't know what to fucking do, would it be worth it?
The age difference me 22 she 26, the distance just i don't fucking know, I know this summer I'm going to have to do something.....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on January 04, 2008, 07:12:09 PM
lmfao, dude. You seriously need to chill out a bit. Obviously you want to have a relationship with her. You might think it could be hard, you may think the age difference has a huge impact, but you nonetheless want to hook up with her. You can't deny that with how many times you've made it obvious. So with that in mind, just fucking do it. If every single time she is going to so much as talk to you, you're going to think about her for days on end, then just get it over with. So she is older, true, but so what? You've both reached an age where age itself doesn't matter quite as much. People change alot, so age difference will have an affect, but between 22 and 26 there's not too much difference, it's only 4 years. As for distance, if you're together distantly, for a long time, your bond will probably be stronger when you do get to be together. If you don't end up having it work out and are still distant, then at least you don't have to suffer seperation when your bond is the strongest.

From what I see, there's no reason you shouldn't try if you want to. The only things that you say are getting in the way are only in the way if you're afraid of getting hurt. (Afraid of it not working translates into afraid of getting hurt. Because, if it not working doesn't hurt, then you would have nothing to be afraid of, would you?)

The way you make your post is as though you are simply looking for people to encourage you to go for it, you want the green light. You want the green light because you actually do want to go for it. You're not actually going to decide to do it or not based on what we tell you, you're just wanting an easy answer to something you can only decide yourself.

No matter how you look at it, it's your decision, and what you choose to do is going to be almost if not completely uninfluenced by most of what we tell you. In the end, you're just procrastinating and holding the decision off for later. Eventually you may not be able to make a decision any longer and have it made for you, when she ends up moving away or you somehow lose touch with her completely and never hear from her again. At that point, you'll have wished you made a decision before it was too late, even if you've gotten over her.

Long and short: You want to. So do it. If you do, and it fails: Oh well, that happens; welcome to life. =)

P.S. Anyway, I thought you were 21? :huh:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on January 05, 2008, 10:36:38 AM
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lmfao, dude. You seriously need to chill out a bit. Obviously you want to have a relationship with her. You might think it could be hard, you may think the age difference has a huge impact, but you nonetheless want to hook up with her. You can't deny that with how many times you've made it obvious. So with that in mind, just fucking do it. If every single time she is going to so much as talk to you, you're going to think about her for days on end, then just get it over with. So she is older, true, but so what? You've both reached an age where age itself doesn't matter quite as much. People change alot, so age difference will have an affect, but between 22 and 26 there's not too much difference, it's only 4 years. As for distance, if you're together distantly, for a long time, your bond will probably be stronger when you do get to be together. If you don't end up having it work out and are still distant, then at least you don't have to suffer seperation when your bond is the strongest.

From what I see, there's no reason you shouldn't try if you want to. The only things that you say are getting in the way are only in the way if you're afraid of getting hurt. (Afraid of it not working translates into afraid of getting hurt. Because, if it not working doesn't hurt, then you would have nothing to be afraid of, would you?)

The way you make your post is as though you are simply looking for people to encourage you to go for it, you want the green light. You want the green light because you actually do want to go for it. You're not actually going to decide to do it or not based on what we tell you, you're just wanting an easy answer to something you can only decide yourself.

No matter how you look at it, it's your decision, and what you choose to do is going to be almost if not completely uninfluenced by most of what we tell you. In the end, you're just procrastinating and holding the decision off for later. Eventually you may not be able to make a decision any longer and have it made for you, when she ends up moving away or you somehow lose touch with her completely and never hear from her again. At that point, you'll have wished you made a decision before it was too late, even if you've gotten over her.

Long and short: You want to. So do it. If you do, and it fails: Oh well, that happens; welcome to life. =)

P.S. Anyway, I thought you were 21? :huh:
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Nice one hell, I didn't know you had it in you to be so deep, anyway you made a tiny mistake, I'm not posting that message so other people could make the decision for me or anything of that sort, the only thing I post this is, is just that I can get it out of my system writing about it works kinda relaxing for me, in the end it's my decision no matter what other people say.

And Yes I would give it a chance to be together, but the problem is she is having second toughts, doubts and shit so in the end it's up to her i can't force her....

And yes i'm 21 i'm gonna be 22 this year.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on January 05, 2008, 07:10:41 PM
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Nice one hell, I didn't know you had it in you to be so deep, anyway you made a tiny mistake, I'm not posting that message so other people could make the decision for me or anything of that sort, the only thing I post this is, is just that I can get it out of my system writing about it works kinda relaxing for me, in the end it's my decision no matter what other people say.

And Yes I would give it a chance to be together, but the problem is she is having second toughts, doubts and shit so in the end it's up to her i can't force her....

And yes i'm 21 i'm gonna be 22 this year.
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I didn't say that you posted it so others could make the decision for you. I said you want an easy answer but in the end you'll be the only one who can make the decision. Exactly, your decision no matter what people say... I think I said that a few times, actually. No, I wasn't saying you truly thought we would give you your answer. I was saying you want us to tell you what you want to hear, basically. :lol:
That's the nature of seeking advice, people already know what they need to do, they just ask to either get reassurance from others who back up their decision, or they are simply asking to be told what they know they have to do but are having a hard time coming to terms with.

You're saying it's up to her, but you haven't made the proposition yet, so it's still up to both of you. You can't expect her to say yes or no, without first asking the question. So she's having second thoughts? So what? That's her decision. Your decision is not her decision and her decision is not your decision. You both have to decide whether you want to or not individually. And if you want to, then you put it on the table and allow her to think about it. Otherwise, she doesn't know whether you want to or not, and may be doing the same exact thing as you. The decision for you to both enter a relationship is up to both of you, but the decision to ask her is yours, and the decision for her to ask you is hers. And if neither of you ask, but both want to, then you both decided yes, but never said yes. So neither of you would still know, would you?

What I'm saying is: If you want to then ask her. If she wants to or doesn't want to after you ask her, she'll tell you. But first you have to ask, first you have to talk it over. If you can't talk things over as it is, then your relationship is doomed to fail until you learn how. All relationships depend on communication. If you ask her, and she says no, so what? It's just like I said in my last post. At least you asked, at least you brought it up. Don't be afraid of rejection. Asking doesn't automatically mean you'll enter a relationship, but you never will if neither of you bring it up at all.

You're right when you say you can't force her, but you also can't expect her to decide at all if you don't talk to her about it first. Right?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on January 06, 2008, 12:00:54 PM
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I didn't say that you posted it so others could make the decision for you. I said you want an easy answer but in the end you'll be the only one who can make the decision. Exactly, your decision no matter what people say... I think I said that a few times, actually. No, I wasn't saying you truly thought we would give you your answer. I was saying you want us to tell you what you want to hear, basically. :lol:
That's the nature of seeking advice, people already know what they need to do, they just ask to either get reassurance from others who back up their decision, or they are simply asking to be told what they know they have to do but are having a hard time coming to terms with.

You're saying it's up to her, but you haven't made the proposition yet, so it's still up to both of you. You can't expect her to say yes or no, without first asking the question. So she's having second thoughts? So what? That's her decision. Your decision is not her decision and her decision is not your decision. You both have to decide whether you want to or not individually. And if you want to, then you put it on the table and allow her to think about it. Otherwise, she doesn't know whether you want to or not, and may be doing the same exact thing as you. The decision for you to both enter a relationship is up to both of you, but the decision to ask her is yours, and the decision for her to ask you is hers. And if neither of you ask, but both want to, then you both decided yes, but never said yes. So neither of you would still know, would you?

What I'm saying is: If you want to then ask her. If she wants to or doesn't want to after you ask her, she'll tell you. But first you have to ask, first you have to talk it over. If you can't talk things over as it is, then your relationship is doomed to fail until you learn how. All relationships depend on communication. If you ask her, and she says no, so what? It's just like I said in my last post. At least you asked, at least you brought it up. Don't be afraid of rejection. Asking doesn't automatically mean you'll enter a relationship, but you never will if neither of you bring it up at all.

You're right when you say you can't force her, but you also can't expect her to decide at all if you don't talk to her about it first. Right?
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You're right hell, thanks for the advice i'll think about your words too.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on January 06, 2008, 06:13:45 PM
Of course, of course.

Good luck in this endeavor.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on January 06, 2008, 07:55:21 PM
I didn't know she knows your family.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on January 06, 2008, 09:07:30 PM
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I didn't know she knows your family.
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ehm....if she's the best friend of my niece....and my niece is my niece so I can't see why she wouldn't know of my familly....?
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on January 06, 2008, 10:00:58 PM
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ehm....if she's the best friend of my niece....and my niece is my niece so I can't see why she wouldn't know of my familly....?
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Right.  That much is obvious.  Now after re-reading my question notice it states that *I* didn't know that she knew your family.  Meaning that I can not recall you ever mentioning that before.


:)
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on January 07, 2008, 05:58:02 AM
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Right.  That much is obvious.  Now after re-reading my question notice it states that *I* didn't know that she knew your family.  Meaning that I can not recall you ever mentioning that before.
:)
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Maybe I forgot to mention it, but she knows us for now it's gonna be 3 years but she knows me for 2 years cuz, 3 years ago i didn't go with my parents on holiday I wanted to be home alone for 4 weeks and party day in day out lol (that's the first time with a girl i had you know what.) anyway that's about it.
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on January 07, 2008, 07:49:45 PM
What? Sex? Lmfao. "had you know what" he says. :lol:
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on January 07, 2008, 09:04:34 PM
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What? Sex? Lmfao. "had you know what" he says. :lol:
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LoL i dunno if I could use the S-word here but yeah the first time I had sex lol....
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Chard! on January 08, 2008, 12:09:43 AM
Congrats. lol
Title: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Soul Sojourner on January 08, 2008, 03:10:08 AM
We can say fuck and cunt freely and you're wondering about the word sex!? :rofl:
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on April 07, 2008, 08:35:13 PM
Women are weird....really weird.....I could almost say they are bitches but I can't at the moment i'll stay at that one word: "Weird"....
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on April 07, 2008, 10:55:53 PM
Finally.  Now you can appreciate what a useless endeavor it was to begin this thread =)
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Anheg on April 08, 2008, 01:03:33 PM
Just dont forget the picnic supplies!

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on April 08, 2008, 01:19:57 PM
Finally.  Now you can appreciate what a useless endeavor it was to begin this thread =)

Yeah, well nog it's about a different girl and well.....it's just weird I don't know if she's intrested or not....we talk alot, via msn, phone, text messages and all.

Me and a couple of friends been over to her house where she was and couple of her friends, been to party's together and shit.

I asked her out, she said oke but I have to ask my parents, and guess what they don't let her lol, but yeah sure they let you bring over guys to your home when they are not there.....just freaking weird...
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on August 08, 2009, 08:23:27 PM
Allright I just have to say it, I can't take it in anymore.

I just returned about a week and half ago from vacation, the problem is I fell in love with a girl there, now this ain't that bad because I go there on vacation twice a year.
The problem is however i'm really, really, REALLY badly in love at first i tought it would go over, that it was just casual.
I quickly discovered this wasn't the case.
Now she is 26 i'm 21(well soon I will be) at first I saw this as a problem, so I was in love but that age difference was bugging me so when I finally decided that age wasn't that much of a problem she wen't back home (well she lives like three hours away from me when i'm on vacation in Bosnia).
I know she feels the same about me but the age difference is preventing her to be with me together.
Now I do have her phone number but I feel that I can't call her or type a message about my feelings and all because it "feels" not right over the phone, I feel like I should tell it in her eyes.
But waiting a whole year isn't really that easy when you're really in love.
Also, she's reducing the contact between us because she knows my feelings(I think, there was flirting from both sides).
Anyhow a week before I headed back here to Belgium I discovered she found a boyfriend he is also there on vacation but he's from USA.
Now I don't know i'm preparing myself on that it could work between them so next year I come she might have someone, but I believe it won't last long because a relationship on distance is really hard especially when you're from USA that distance is really long....

I don't know what to do anymore, I also just graduated so i'm looking for a job atm, so I have lots of free time and I can't stop thinking about her, I feel lost, depressed and I feel it's afecting me when I go to a job interview.......
I just can't take it anymore...
any advice or something? please?

Oke, lol major deja vu feeling :D

I made this post 2 years ago when I got home from vacation...

Well today about 4 hours ago I returned home from my vacation, and well i tought to inform you guys that me and this girl i wrote about wich you can see in my quoted area are togehter now.
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Mo on August 08, 2009, 10:46:26 PM
Omg a real life Fairy Tale ending!

WAAAAHOOOO!!

Good job brother :D
Title: Re: Badly in love.....Help...or...
Post by: Razor Blade on August 29, 2009, 09:55:07 PM
Omg a real life Fairy Tale ending!

WAAAAHOOOO!!

Good job brother :D

Thanks man :D