OK, I'm paraphrasing a bit here but this is basically the phone conversation I had with my mom about coming to see her for her birthday this weekend:
mom: "Are you going to rent a car like usual?"
me: "yup"
mom: "Can you rent one big enough for your pinball machine because your step-father wants a 3rd car and we need to make room in the garage."
me: "Um, my wife and I live in a one bedroom apartment in The Tenderloin. Where would I put it?"
mom: "I thought Beatrice was going to take it."
me: "First, that isn't my sister-in-law's name. Also, she's kinda busy right now because her Marine newlywed husband just got back from his deployment in Bahrain. But I'll ask her about storing the pinball machine next time I see her."
mom: "Oh, well if you have room in the car you can bring down that bag of old clothes you were going to take to Goodwill. We have curb-side service here. And it goes to the homeless and the Mexicans."
So, yeah, that is what I'm going to be dealing with this weekend.
*Starts filling up flasks.*
-420